


One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

by Crowgirl



Series: Scars Remind Us [39]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angelic Pep-talks, Cas Angsting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-19
Updated: 2012-04-19
Packaged: 2017-11-03 21:45:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/386294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crowgirl/pseuds/Crowgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ongoing discussion, and ramifications thereof, between Dean and Castiel about the after-effects of Hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

XXXIX.

Castiel does not know where he ends up -- it is high, cold, and there is a scattering of snow below his feet that crunches when he takes a step. The air burns his throat.

‘Okay, I _didn’t_ mean turn the poor kid into goop,’ Anna says, dropping down beside him.

‘I did not mean to get angry.’ Castiel can feel the tightness in his chest receding -- slowly -- and he grits his teeth.

‘Well, I’m sure you can make it up to him by covering the security deposit.’

Castiel rubs a hand over his face. ‘What did I do?’

Anna ticks off points on her fingers. ‘Broke every piece of glass in the place, including the windows, the TV, and both bathroom mirrors. Cracked the tiles and the sink in the bathrooms. And you damn near blew the electricity in the whole motel but,’ She claps him cheerily on the shoulder and Castiel groans. ‘You managed to only take out the wiring in Dean’s room. Sam’s movie didn’t even blink.’

Castiel pinches at the bridge of his nose, trying to convince himself that the dull ache behind his eyes is not a headache. 

‘Well, it’s not that bad. They’ve skipped out on rooms before.’ Anna shrugs.

‘Dean will never speak to me again.’ Castiel opens his eyes and stares gloomily out over what he realises, objectively, is a rather beautiful winter landscape. He and Anna are standing at the the edge of a ridge which slopes down towards a frozen pond. The sun is just setting in a cloud of dull pink and orange behind a distant ridge of mountains and he can see his breath when he sighs.

Anna flaps a hand at him as she dusts off a nearby rock. ‘Don’t be so dramatic. He deserved it.’ 

‘Anna -- how could he --’

‘For being a self-centered jerk, that’s how.’ She takes her seat, pulling her coat around her. 

‘Anna--’

‘Oh, don’t even try, Castiel.’ She raises an eyebrow at him. ‘He deserved it and you know it. Yeah, okay, maybe it would’ve been better to have the conversation without shattering everything breakable within twenty feet of him but -- hey, he’ll remember it this time!’ She reaches out and nudges his arm companionably.

‘That is not what I intended to do -- or say -- or --’ He grits his teeth, pushing his hands deep in the pockets of his coat. ‘Anna, he is hurt. He is not--’

‘Yeah, he’s hurt. Yeah, he’s kinda fucked up. And, yeah, Cas, he deserves slack for that. But nowhere near as much as you’ve been giving him.’ Anna crosses her legs at the ankle and looks up at him soberly. ‘You’ve been giving him enough rope to hang himself and you twice over. You want to help him, help him. But don’t just let him use you for target practice.’

‘Rope?’ Castiel frowns at her.

Anna sighs and shakes her head. ‘Never mind. Just -- give it another shot and try _not_ destroying your immediate surroundings this time.’ She pushes herself to her feet and walks over to him, putting a hand on his arm. ‘You’re allowed to be angry, Cas. You _get_ to be angry when someone treats you badly -- and Dean’s a past master at treating people he loves badly. He learned from his dad and there was no-one better than John Winchester.’ She shrugs, tucking her hands in her pockets. ‘You’re going to have to decide if Dean’s worth the effort.’

‘Of course he--’

_‘No,_ Cas. _Really_ worth the effort. For _you_ \-- not--’ She waves a hand, somehow managing to indicate Heaven, Hell, and the possibility of an oncoming apocalypse over the silent folds of snowy landscape. ‘--this.’

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Not Meant to Be," Theory of a Deadman, _Scars and Souvenirs_.


End file.
